As unbelievable as it may sound, Derek spent the first nine   months of his life inside another human being.  He had a pretty   typical suburban childhood.  His father was an accomplished   ninja (now retired) and his mother was an accomplished   housewife (also retired).  Although martial arts and housewifery   were quite tempting, he opted to take a different path instead.   Now let's get to know Derek more intimately:   Derek is a gummy bear enthusiast.  Unlike World Wars I and II   combined, he is not responsible for the loss of millions of lives.   He admits a dependency upon vowels, and he would not be   where he is today without them.  It is debatable whether or not he   played a role in the invention of the ham and cheese sandwich.   He can tread water for obscene lengths of time when necessary.   He enjoys the liberal use of parentheses.  His dislikes include   famine, disease, and his unfortunate nickname, "Light 'n Sassy."   On a less serious note:   Derek founded Fishbowl Catharsis in October 2005.  He has   taken sketch and improv instruction at Upright Citizens Brigade   Theatre in New York.  His comic influences include Mr. Show,   '85-'95 SNL, George Carlin, Conan O'Brien, and Mitch Hedberg.        You can email Derek at derek@fishbowlcatharsis.com